Well, the short answer is we shouldn’t care about what others are doing, but we SHOULD very much pay attention to our own loving relationships. I’m no marriage counselor, but you can never go wrong doing the following:
- Talking about $$$ sooner than later. I don’t care if you have to get naked and whip out a bottle of wine (or two) – just do it before you feel ridiculous waiting too long to bring up! I’m sure both of you have issues you wish you didn’t have, but better to release ’em into the world now before they add up and cause even more of a scene later. No secrets!
- Love the $hit out of each other. You won’t be able to do this every day of course – we all get on each others’ nerves – but as cheesy as it sounds love really does conquer all. Especially money problems. Money can be fixed no matter what position you’re in, but love ain’t something to be messed with. Communicate as much as you can, and money – and everything else! – should be much smoother over time.
- Communicate the $hit out of each other. Loving is the first step, but almost equally as important is communicating in a relationship. It saves sooooo much trouble, even though it’s sooooo freakin’ hard to do sometimes. Very much like saving or buying insurance when you’d rather blow it all on a guy’s (or girl’s!) weekend – hah. But just like with the principles of money, you gotta keep a solid (and trusting!) foundation with love too.
Start with trying a weekly “money talk” where you literally spend 5 minutes going over the state of affairs with everything. The good, the bad – all of it. Once that gets repetitive/boring, move it to every other week or even once a month. 5 minutes is nothing from your life, but can make all the difference in your relationship. And feel free to slip in “goals” or “career” or even “sex” in those 5 minute chats too!
Imagine if every week you and your partner were focused on all your goals and missions with life?? How could you NOT improve?
*Makes note to set up weekly chats himself… Self knows it’s smart to do, but he’d be lying if he says he does them right now. Also an important reminder: make sure *someone* is in charge of these chats! If you don’t appoint a chat-master (new word, coined here) you’ll never stay on top of her. I mean, them.
And that’s a wrap! Any other tips you’d like to add? Any of you hiding secrets from your significant other? If so, why? (Anonymous time!)
Remember, A.G.B.T.T.Y.L.A.M — Always Gotta Be Talking To Your Lover About $$$.
Problems are always scarier in your mind building up over time than they are when released into the wild. They’re never fun, and your significant other could very well be pissed off for quite some time learning of them (and rightfully so), but better to put it out there now and start cleaning it up! You owe it to your relationship, if not yourself.